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Come back
By Kim Yarson
©2008 Bonnie Dog Music (ASCAP)
I’m walking in darkness on a new moon night
And feeling so scared
Light years away from you doesn’t feel right
It’s a tunnel of despair
I don’t know how much longer I can live like this
The loneliness strangles my heart like a noose
Its smothers every kiss
Chorus: Love, where’d you go, come back to me again
Love, I miss you, you used to be my friend
I’m wishing on stars and living on prayers till’ you come back again.
The sun and the moon in the same universe
But they can never touch
They can’t live together and they can’t live apart
And an eclipse won’t change much
I’ll shine my light into your night and hope it brightens you
I’ll search for you baby to the ends of the earth
If that’s what I must do
Chorus: Love, where’d you go, come back to me again
Love, I miss you, you used to be my friend
I’m wishing on stars and living on prayers till’ you come back again.
Bridge: I see you in the shadows keeping your distance
I feel your resistance what are you waiting for
Repeat chorus:
Last chorus… Come back to me, come back to me, come back to me again
I’m wishing on stars and living on prayers till you come back again
I’m walking in darkness on a new moon night
And feeling so scared
The inspiration behind this song came accidentally since I usually write lyrics first and then fit melody and chords around it. It was a beautiful day and I was outside with my children and decided to play a little guitar for fun while I watched them play. I came up with a cool rhythmic verse, added a chorus, and decided later I would try to see if a lyric would come out. Well the muse had something very important to say so I wrote down everything and was astonished at this beautiful sentiment. It is a song sung to unconditional love- a rare find here on earth!
Then I Woke Up
By Kim Yarson & Beth Kille
©2008 Bonnie Dog Music (ASCAP);Thanotopsis Music (ASCAP)
I haven’t seen your beautiful face in a while, in a while
You’re just the way I remember you and your smile your sweet smile
Tell me what's been going on
What have I missed, it’s been so long
Ain’t it amazing how time flies
Then I woke up and realized
It was just I dream I had last night
Yeah I woke up with a teary eye
Cause you’re still gone from my life
It felt so real, it felt so right
And I could not get enough
Then I woke up
I lie awake with a heaviness in my heart
I really thought I was over you and felt I'd come so far
I forced myself back into sleep
And drift off to that fairytale scene
And like a miracle there you are
Repeat chorus:
And I wonder over space and time
If your sleeping soul was reaching out to mine
Repeat Chorus:
I met Beth Kille on myspace and she was impressed with my bio and said it inspired her. One thing led to another and we said we'd write a song together. I had a few songs on the back burner but I didn't want to write an old song with her since I wanted one with meaning for my CD. So one morning I woke up after having had one of the many resolution dreams I've had to try and resolve a painful loss. Since I hadn't had one of these dreams in a while, I was a bit disappointed that the dream hadn't actually occured in real life and that is when the idea "Then I Woke UP" came about. I shared my early morning inspiration with Beth after giving her a verse without a melody and a chorus with a basic melody. This was all done via internet with Mp3 and video since Beth lives in
Texas. She loved it and the rest is songwriting history. I am quite happy that this CD will only depict my truest emotions tying the songs together on my healing journey.
I Hate Goodbyes
By Kim Yarson
©2008 Bonnie Dog Music (ASCAP)
I think about you everyday
And how you chose to walk away
And I still wonder why
I tried so hard to reconcile
I even put away my pride
But there was silence on your side
And your decision broke my heart in two
But acceptance helped me to get through
Chorus: So I forgive you and I love you
If you’re wondering, I’m just fine
I’m so grateful and so happy
That I had you in my life
I will miss you cause I hate goodbyes
I learned so much about myself
Losing you has taught me
Even soul mates need a rest
Cause I was hanging on so tight
But letting go saved my life
And change is for the best
Please remember all the fun we had
The good times far outweigh the bad
Repeat Chorus:
Bridge: And if fate brings you my way
In another time and place, I will tell you face to face…
Chorus: I forgive you and I love you
And if you’re wondering, I’m just fine
I’m so grateful and so happy
That I had you in my life
I will miss you cause I hate goodbyes
I have missed you cause I hate goodbyes
I think about you everyday
And how you chose to walk away
There is so much I can say about this song since it reads like a chapter from my life's book. I worked very hard to heal myself from a lost relationship that had brought me as much pain as it did healing. I had to resolve it alone since the other party was unwilling to do so. The best book I read on my journey that continues to bring me healing when I am in need is Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping (www.radicalforgiveness.com). I knew after two long years of working towards forgiveness that I had finally achieved it after writing this song. The tears flowed from both relief and gratitude that I had finally reached my goal. The song could not have been written unless I had truly let go and it was liberating. This song is one of my favorites because it was so profound in my growth towards becoming an artist.
Satisfied
By Kim Yarson, Barbara Harley and Al Lind
©2008 Bonnie Dog Music (ASCAP);Isometrics Music (BMI)
Lately I’ve been feeling lighter
Like I’m floating on a cloud
I release the past and future
And embrace the here and now
I’m Satisfied Deep Inside
This feels right
I’m Satisfied What a Ride
I’m loving my life
Now the sun is shining brighter
And I’m filled with gratitude
And the whole world seems to smile
At my brand new attitude
Repeat Chorus
Feels like spring on a winter’s day
And the rain has washed my fears away
One decision set me free
Allowed myself to just be me
I’m Satisfied Deep Inside
This feels right
I’m Satisfied What a Ride
I’m loving my life
I’m Satisfied Deep Inside
This feels right
I’m Satisfied And I know why
I’m living my life
This song's title came to me one day so I wrote it down knowing I wanted to write a song about being satisfied. In the summer 2007, I decided to go for my Bachelor's degree but one year later I had to put it on hold since it was grueling work to do with a family. After some soul-searching, which didn't take long, I decided to finally follow my bliss and record a CD. The feeling that came from this one decision brought complete relief and satisfaction to my life. So one day when my co-writers came over, I told them I needed an up-tempo song for my CD. Al came up with a great groove and I started singing I'm Satisfied over his chorus section and Barb and I always work so beautifully coming up with mock lyrics until we are totally satisfied with our final lyrics. Thus, the beautiful co-writing we have done together in the past has turned out another very Satisfying song-pun intended. The song's sentiment follows the path to healing coming full circle from brokenness to being Satisfied.
I Am Soul
By Kim Yarson
©2008 Bonnie Dog Music (ASCAP)
The ocean holds secrets in the sound of the waves
The wind blows me kisses and caresses my face
A rainbow comes out and reflects spirit's grace
When I open my heart then I know
Chorus: I am more than my tears and more than my pain
I am more than my fears and more than my shame
I am more than this body that keeps growing old
I am pure and I am hope I am love I am SOUL
This world can be cruel filled with hatred and pride
And everyone wants a slice of their neighbor's pie
But I have found peace when I love my own life
I'm grateful to be here right now
Chorus: I am more than my tears and more than my pain
I am more than my fears and more than my shame
I am more than this body that keeps growing old
I am pure and I am hope I am love I am SOUL
Bridge: And I have walked through the darkness
And I have searched to find truth
Under rocks, in the silence, in the rain
And the lesson was always the same (thanks Barb for this line!)
Chorus: I am more than my tears and more than my pain
I am more than my fears and more than my shame
I am more than this body that keeps growing old
I am pure and I am hope I am love I am SOUL
This song came to me right before I was about to take my daily 20 minute nap. I was thinking about my mother the day after having spent mother's day with her and all the struggles she has had with becoming an early widow, raising my brothers and I alone, along with a life time struggle with anxiety. I kept thinking about what a wonderful and loving soul she is and how much more she is than her pain, her fears, her anxiety etc. I wrote down my every thought and got up from my nap to do so. I was not prepared for the beautiful lyrics and melody that came out but I can only tell you that I cried in my alone time for two weeks anytime I listened to this song. I knew this song was going to be profoundly moving to anyone, including myself, who listened to it, reminding us of who we truly are. I am grateful to have been the one to channel it from the universe.
Expectation Vacation
By Kim Yarson
©2008 Bonnie Dog Music (ASCAP)
Kicking back on my hammock
Swinging away criticism
Soaking rays on this great day
Tanning away cynicism
Oh if the world won’t change
I guess I’ll have to change
That’s why I’m taking a break
Chorus:
On this expectation vacation
Where solitude is bliss
On this expectation vacation
Where disappointment is never missed
It’s never missed
No more wanting and needing
No more begging and pleasing
Enjoy a little quiet meditation for a while
On this expectation vacation today
Loving life on my new strike
Casting all my worries aside
Feeling fine from a glass of wine
Watching all the birdies go by
Oh, I’d invite you along
But I’m having a blast
And I want this feeling to last
The inspiration behind this song came from playing with the words “expectation vacation” and then from there letting it brew since it was such a cool title. Having already lived a tremendous heartbreak, I was working on letting go in my life of expecting from others currently in my life. This playful way of doing so was really entertaining and humorous for the heart. While I waited for the creative juices to flow, out popped the first verse easily and then the chorus but I had to work hard for the second verse. The song's melody wrote itself and it was a obvious to me to keep the melody upbeat and playful. Life experience has taught me that once I let go of the expectations I have of others and myself, then I could not be disappointed. I derive much pleasure from this song’s sentiment-hence the whistling.
ONCE MORE
By Kim Yarson-Jakubicki
©2008 Bonnie Dog Music (ASCAP)
Years of fun and laughter vanished in one breath
How can love so easily be smothered like a death
The walls of trust just crumbled as I felt it do before
Since my fragile heart has broken once more
I will pick up the pieces but I’ll never forget
I will mend every hurt and remember my regrets
I feel an emptiness crashing like an endless shore
Still my broken heart longs to love once more
Chorus:
Once More, I feel this ache in my chest
Once More, I’m finding it hard to rest
As hope swallows the darkness of sorrow’s revolving door
The memories haunt my dreams at night
It seems I’ll never see daylight
But light comes through and hugs this pain Once More
As time turns the pages I know I’m gonna live
The only chapter left to write is the one where I forgive
This unexpected ending has rocked me to the core
But my broken heart will rise above once more
Chorus:
Once More, I heal this ache in my chest
Once More, I'm finally getting rest
As hope swallows the darkness of sorrow’s revolving door
The memories haunt my dreams at night
It seems I’ll never see daylight
But light comes through and hugs this pain Once More, Once More
Yeah my broken heart is beating strong Once More
Not long after the loss of a close relationship, I wrote two songs. One was very personal and did not make the CD while this one made it with its universal appeal of having your heart broken more than once. Amazingly, this song helped me to have hope knowing that with the test of time, the heart would heal like it has many times before. I've slowly learned that sometimes your heart becomes more whole after it's been torn into a million little pieces several times in your life. I'm humbled and grateful by all of this unexpected growth!
The Art of Letting Go
By Kim Yarson
Inspired by Julianna Rodriguez
©2008 Bonnie Dog Music (ASCAP)
Here’s to the baby girl born without sight
Unable to twirl her muscles won’t work
Her body won’t go
I want to thank her little soul for showing me the art of letting go
My hat’s off to all my friends who came and went
Since my life began, you shared your light
And opened up my soul
My gratitude all I have for showing me the art of letting go
With a little bit of faith
And a whole lot of love
I may not comprehend but I’m learning to trust
Cause a man came to earth
Stretched his arms on the cross
Showed me all about love and loss
But then he rose so I would know
Life’s a journey of letting go
A toast to the elderly your body’s so frail
You’re unable to see everyday a new pain
And you’re strut is now slow
I want to thank your aging soul for showing me the art of letting go
Here’s to my loved ones who've embraced the light
And touched the sun, you took your last breathe
Your body let go
I want to thank my God above for showing the art of letting go
Bridge:
I’ll say goodbye to fear
Close the door on control
I’ll let go of my past
And welcome each soul
That touches my heart
And shows me the art of letting go, Yeah I’m letting go I’m letting go
Life’s a journey of letting go I'm letting go, I'm letting go, I'm letting go
Life's a journey of letting go!
This song came shortly after an unbelievable meeting with an absolute angel named Julianna Rodriquez. Julianna’s mother had a dental cleaning with me and Julianna sat cooing in her medical stroller. Her mother told me Julianna had mitochondrial disease and proceeded to tell me all about it. This little girl with her beautiful brown eyes and curly, gorgeous, brown hair could not talk, walk or see, yet she moved my soul beyond anything I could explain. I could not get this little girl’s face out of my head for three days until this song came out in order to express what I was deeply feeling. I was moved by this angel as she humbly raised me out of victimland and into a place of total acceptance of the journey of letting go that we all must take. For this, I am very grateful to Julianna, as well and her beautiful mother who inspires me with her courage and acceptance.
Butterfly
By Kim Yarson
©2008 Bonnie Dog Music (ASCAP)
As I watch a caterpillar crawl, I know she’ll find her way
She’ll hang from a sycamore tree until she flies away
I can’t help but think she’ll be something beautiful one day
When she becomes, when she becomes a butterfly
As I look at my face in the mirror, I’m learning who I am
Change comes slower than molasses but I do the best I can
I don’t always like who I see but I know there’s a bigger plan
Someday I’ll become a butterfly
That’s when I’ll be set free
To be who I was meant to be
Free from worry Free of fear
Free of insecurity
My heart will be filled with prayer
My soul will be light as air
Spread my wings fly until I touch the sky
I can’t wait, can’t wait to be a butterfly
Who'd have thought a life so small could make a big change in my heart
So I’m gonna love myself and be proud I’ve come this far
I’ll enjoy my journey even when the road is hard
And I’ll survive cause inside me is a butterfly
That’s when I’ll be set free
To be who I was meant to be
Free from worry Free of fear
Free of insecurity
My heart will be filled with prayer
My soul will be light as air
Spread my wings fly until I touch the sky
I’m on my way, on my way to be a butterfly
Oh someday, someday, someday I’ll become a butterfly
Fly Butterfly, Fly Butterfly
This was one of the first songs that helped me move on from a very difficult time. I was getting used to the fact that I had two children now and with hormones raging from breastfeeding and lack of sleep, I was very angry. Simultaneously, I had also lost a close relationship that meant the world to me. While vacationing in the Pocono’s in the spring of 2006, I came up with this song. Caterpillars were everywhere like it was some kind of invasion. This was the first time I came to the Pocono’s with children and it was not as relaxing as it used to be with my husband before our kids came. I was very angry about this and took my eldest son to the park to play and cool off while my husband stayed at the cabin with our baby. I watched him play on the lakeside playground in the sand and we were surrounded by all these caterpillars. I was struck by the metamorphosis of how a caterpillar would someday turn into a beautiful butterfly. This is not news to most people but it totally inspired me to see the beauty in myself just as I was. I had to run to my car to write down all my thoughts and the melody came a week later while taking my kids for a walk. It felt as if the caterpillars were there to teach me some kind of lesson. Life was tough but damn it, I was a butterfly inside and somehow that made it all so much easier to deal with. It is now my theme song and I am thrilled for having gone to the Pocono’s while it had it’s caterpillar invasion.
Promise Me
By Kim Yarson
(For Joey and Tommy- I love you)
©2008 Bonnie Dog Music (ASCAP)
Oh when life gets you down
And you’re hurting inside
And you wish you could run far away and hide
Go back in your memory of when all was fine
Promise me; promise you’ll remember the good times
You may lose a close friend
You may fail when you try
And it will rock your whole world when a loved one dies
Just remember them always in your prayers each night
And promise me; Promise me you’ll remember the good times
When we laughed just to laugh
When we danced all around
Knocked the snowman down
All the stories I made up each night
Go back to these simple times
Oh, I’ve made some mistakes
I failed but I tried
I yelled and complained and put up a fight
But behind all the bad is a love I can’t hide
So promise me you’ll remember the good times
When we laughed just to laugh
When I held you so close
Tickled you head to toe
All the sunsets we watched at the beach
Let nature help you find peace
Someday when I’m gone
My light will still shine
Just put your hand on your heart to feel me inside
It’s a love that goes on, it will never die
So Promise me, promise you’ll remember the good times
Promise me, Promise you'll remember the good times
Tommy: I Promise Mom Joey: I promise Mommy to remember the good times.
This song came to me after a disciplinary moment with my oldest son. He was doing something he shouldn't have been doing and I yelled at him. He was very sad that I yelled at him so I sat him on my knee and told him, “In life there will always be bad times, but promise me that you’ll always remember the good times.” He said, “Okay mamma.” Then Bam a light bulb went off and I immediately had to go downstairs and write the words that were flying around in my head and miraculously as I have done many times before, a melody and chords followed. This song brought me to tears when I wrote the last verse and I almost did not include it because I have a hard time with death. It felt right so I kept it.
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